A salty soaked pillow lies motionless on my bed.

it is not this room that

traps me.

i could break through these

four walls.

my obstruction lies in the skeleton of

my mind,

the practically indestructable

confines.

the only hammer that can break through is

prayer.

but at times like these prayers is

too hard.

i am

ashamed.

He knows

too much.

and i no longer know how to

fall

at His feet, and beg for

forgiveness,

because i am not

worthy.

i am so scared because i know that what

i want,

may not be what

He wants