Saturday, October 29, 2005

Friends...

Recently I have been struggling. It has been an issue for a long time with me, but only recently have I managd to find the guts to start to deal with it. To explain it though, I need to give a long detailed description of my life...but since you are reading it, I suppose I can try to shorten it up, and adress only the issue of my friends.
Lifelong friends - Christiana, Andrew...and kinda Jacky, I met her when I was two, and we lost contact a couple times, but are great friends now.
Riverview friends - well there are different categories in this... elementary school was well everyone, and middle school was mostly Tara and Sarah...if you ever want to hear my middle school stories, I am now okay with telling them by the way...if you are willing to talk for a while.
Quispamsis friends - This also needs to be broken up into categories...when I first moved here it would be Melissa, Sara, Natasha and Caitlin...that changed after a while though because of well difficulties..I started hanging out more with Darshana, Angela, Sarah-ish people...I cannot really name you all, that transition time there were lots of people...this year it has changed even more...I hang out mostly with Darshana, Sarah, Alisha and Kerri, and Angela in my mind cuz I wish she was here!!! I also hang out with like Nicole, Etta, Anne and them. Stephanie, Brier, Sarah White, Emily, Tor, Alisha and those type of people I also hang out with. Than we have Becka and Kelsi, whom I seem to be hanging out with more. I have started hanging out with Nick, Mac, Tim, Laura and them too, and I really enjoy it. This list could also keep going, if I didn't mention you, it is just cuz I told people I would keep it short...
I have a problem though...I know here are when the jokes will start....but I am bad at hanging around with the same people to much...there are exceptions. Like usually when I am around people when it is just the two of us..I am good.
Now, before I get to far ahead of myself...you have to understand...I love all my friends, I just feel clausterphobic almost some of the time, I need my space...and so on some days I like to eat lunch with different people...some nights I like to hang out with different people. But I also feel bad because I am not hanging out with other people...anyways, the purpose of this blog is to apologize...I know I am not always the best friend, but I need your guys' help...I need you to tell me when I screwed up (in a nice way please). One of my friends was going through a divorce at one point in time and was really frustrated with me and she told me I didn't know how to listen. It wasn't that though, it was because I was uncomfortable talking about her pain, and I swore never to be like that again, and so if I am please tell me. Also though, try to bear with me I love you all!!!!!P.S. - sometime
I will figure out how to put pictures of you all on this!!!
-Amy

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

the single tear

This single tear that slowly slides down my cheek would mean nothing to someone else, but means everything to me. I just want to do something right, I want to like a guy that things can work out with. I want my parents to be proud of me, I want my teachers to like having me in their classes, I want my friends to know that I am always there to talk to. I want people to want to talk to me all the time. I want to be friends with everyone, but mostly I want to be closer to God. I yearn to be at a place where everything is about him and for him. Ohh life.
-Amy Kirsten Jones

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

The weekend of L-I-N-K

Ahh, life. Well yesterday sucked, I dont know why...actually I do, I was tired from lack of sleep on the weekend, sick, and not trusting in God. Today on the other hand was fantastic. Ill start with this past weekend though. I went to LINK - the clergy teen escape weekend(for all you people who don't know what clergy teens are were basically just a big group of misfits who happen to have a parent who is pastor or something like it). Anywho I was a "leader" which was kinda weird..lol, but fun. Claire(Lily), Rebekah and Allysa were in my room. The first night Claire and I had boy talk, but the second night, a bunch of people were there...Rebekah, Alyssa, Claire, Me, Britt, Raquel and Katie. We had a party! It was so great to be there this weekend, it made me wish some people like that lived closer to me. Saint John is not really the hub of strong Christian teens. It was great to talk, and to pray with these people who truly believed that God was going to do something in their lives and in this world, there faith was like none other. They talked of the support they got from their churches and I longed for that. But I so enjoyed the whole weekend between getting married to Daniel and handing out our awards and the silent rave I wasnt invited too, and talking and worshiping and everything, it was a blast!

Anyways, the next day I was tired, I was angry at my church, everyone was yelling in the morning so it started out bad. And got worse, I lost something of my friends, and then I thought my friend ditched me and I was just angry in general.
God soon changed that around though, I started talking to him and asking Him to help me and I went to my audition for the musical which went fantastically!!!! wooot! And then I went to bed early, kinda worried cuz I had a physics and a chem test...but I went to bed at 8:30 and it was so great to sleep! Anyways today was great though, my physcis test got moved to tomorrow and I think I did great in Chemistry and I had all my work done, and it was just fantastic! And Italked to Kevin, which was amazing, cuz I miss him. It is really weird not having him around, but I know he is enjoying himself so I am happy for him. Anyways, I really have to go BYe!!!
-Amy Kirsten Jones